The big white cottony cloth comes closing in again. Her head dodges back and forth, eyes are squinched shut and she protests shaking her head. In a long groaning, pleading breath she says “Noooooo…!” But, she cannot stop the kleenex from its advance. Her searing red little nose stings from being wiped, one more time. She gives a little whimper and relents, the Kleenex does its work. When the second advance comes she is not happy, but there is no protest, she simply presses her little face forward, ready to take it.

Gracie’s favorite word is still “NO!” She claims it more every day. But, not every “No!” Grace plants is a defiant one. She is only 16 months old and limited in her repertoire of expression. Sometimes it is a preferential “No.” Like- “No more green beans, I want cheese.” (She would prefer cheese to just about any other food on the planet.) Sometimes it’s an I want my way! –NO!, like when I gently pick her up and move her away from the dog’s water pointing her in a new direction. Sometimes it is a pleading, Why do I have to endure this? Nooooo!, like the “No… please don’t wipe my sore, runny nose again!” All of these “No’s” are important for her to be able to express. She is not only building the ability to honestly express herself, she is also learning how to strengthen good boundaries and building her obedience and I think the Lord works on us by similar design.

It amazes me how willing our Lord is to allow us to freely express ourselves to him- even our “No!” We say: “No, Lord, I don’t want it to go that way.” The Lord hears our protest, but he still picks us up gently and moves us in the proper direction; sets us on the right path. Has your preferential expression of “No” ever been redirected by the Lord? I am reminded of Peter at the Transfiguration making grand plans to build tents for Jesus, Moses and Elija. “This is good” he says. “This is the way I want it to go!” But Jesus gently picks him up and points Peter in a new direction… down the mountain with him, into the valley to help fulfill the promise of salvation and the work of evangelism… How many times have you been looking to go one way with your life only to find the Lord gently lifting you and redirecting you in the way He wants to go with you- The better way.

But, our lives and our expression of “No” is not just about defiance or preference. Sometimes it is about not wanting to endure the pain we are certain to see in this broken world. Like Gracie, we close our eyes and breath a groaning, pleading “Why?” kind of “No” at certain periods of our lives. “No, Lord why do I have to endure this?” I think of Mary at her brother Lazaras’ tomb. As her Lord Jesus approaches she expresses her sorrowful “No.” “No, Lord, why must we endure this… if only you had been here, my brother would still be alive.” Jesus allows Mary to freely express her pain, her protest, her “No.” What’s even more significant is that he not only allows this expression, but he feels it with her. Jesus wept with Mary. He felt the distress of her “No” pleading against the enemy of death… he provided a way through the pain… and Mary received the miracle of her brother’s resurrection.

I suggest the Lord does the same for each of us in every situation where we painfully cry out, “No, Lord, why?” He holds us. He allows us to express our pain…He weeps with us, and he provides a way through the pain. Through this process we begin to find rest in our obedience to the Lord’s plans. We begin to see wisdom and trust in Him as our heavenly father.

It is funny- as I think about Gracie’s pleading “No, please don’t wipe my sore nose again!” We saw a shift in her over time. The first 50 times we wiped her nose was a battle. She said “No!” and she whined, she shook her head in every direction making it as difficult as possible to get a hold of that runny, little nose. But, as time went on and we kept wiping, she slowly began to understand the need for it, and she would voluntarily begin to push her face toward the tissue, willingly allowing us to wipe her nose. No protest. And I think… How many times does it take God to wipe our noses before we begin to see wisdom in what He is doing with us?

I think perhaps the best example to follow in this kind of pleading “No, Lord, why do I have to endure this?” Is Jesus himself pleading to God at the Garden of Gethsemene. In anguish he expresses his pain, his want of the Lord to take the bitter cup from him. God the Father allows Christ to freely express his agony, his pleading “No.” Jesus’ pain is felt, and the Lord provides a way through it, remaining firm in the mission Jesus was sent to accomplish. Yet, Jesus still had a choice whether or not to obey. He chose to rest in the Lord’s plan saying “but not my will… thy will be done.” And through his choice we received the miracle of Christ’s resurrection!

We express our “NO!” to the Lord a lot. I bet a lot more than any of us care to admit. But what a gift we have in a loving father who in every form of expression from defiance or preference to pleading, embraces us with the willingness to hear our “No” and allows us to express our pain. We are guaranteed of His understanding of our pain as we struggle against our rebellions, and most assuredly we are shaped by His loving discipline, redirection and expectation of our obedience.

Every expression of our “No” is an opportunity to build and strengthen our obedience. And so the choice remains… “my will or thy will?”